I Have Nothing
by KoMoose
Summary: This is a story about Jared and Jamie. There is about the scene in the Host when Jamie tells Mel/Wanda, Ian and Jeb that Jared promised not to drink. This is the story about Jared's promise. Read and Review!


The condensation on the bottle was starting to make it slippery or maybe it was just the fact that my grip on the bottle was starting to weaken. It was pitch black in this part of the caves and I couldn't see my own hand let alone the label on the bottle. I thought it was whisky when I started but know it could be anything. How long had I been in here for… an hour, six, a month?

Somewhere in the back of my mind I was aware of Jamie, somewhere in these caves suffering from the same thing I was but I couldn't make myself put the alcohol down long enough to see it he was alright or even too see if he had had dinner. Oh right dinner… way was I not hunger? I took another swig of… whatever the hell this was and it burned on the way down. Something wet starts to roll down my cheek and I looked up to see if anything was leaking through the ceiling. I reached up to whip away the water and realized that my cheeks were soaked. I was cry… _Melanie_… I took another strong swig of what should be whisky, then another and another and another… but it didn't stop her face… of her words from invading my mind.

_"I'll be back, Jared, I promise." _

_"You better, Mel." _God her lips felt good.

_"I will." _

I pitched the bottle against the wall and listened to it shatter. My breath was coming in sharp, painful gasps and more tears carved through the old ones. "Liar." I whisper into the darkness. I always found it odd how alcohol made most men loud and obnoxious but it made me quiet and calm. I groped the floor for my flashlight suddenly missing the bottle in my hand. My knuckles connected with it first but I barely felt it. I turned on the light and flashed it around… _Rye Whiskey, Rye Whiskey, Rye Whiskey I cry, if I don't get Rye Whiskey, I surely will die, if the ocean was Whiskey and I was a duck, I'd swim to the bottom and never come._ Lord, my brother use to sing that song all the time. My light landed on a box and hanging off of the box was a pair of small bare feet. As I moved the light up I saw jeans and a shirt that I recognize but I couldn't place it. Then the light hit the kid's face. His hair was dirty, so was his face, his eyes don't blink away from the light and were full of tears.

"Jamie?" My heart started pounding, I didn't want him to see my like this, all boozed up. "w-what are you doing here k-kid? How-" I hiccupped, "long have you been there?"

Jamie didn't move and for a moment I thought he was part of my imagination. Maybe he was… I saw Mel in this room a few nights ago. I give him another hard look –which was easier said then down. _He has something in his hands_, my mind spoke to me in Melanie's voice.

"What's that you got, kid?" I didn't move, last thing I needed was to stumble in front of him.

"Food, I brought you something to eat." his voice was cold and angry. Shannon must have made him mad today in class. I never understood Shannon's need too… "Jamie you're crying."

"So are you." He said a little softer. I nodded and almost forgot about him as I began my search for my _best friend_. I found it relatively easy considering I was standing on it. I reached in and took out a bottle.

"Put it down, Jared." A voice commanded.

"Excuse me?"

There was a creak as Jamie got up from his box. "You heard me, you've had enough."

I flashed the light on him to see if he was kidding… he was not. His face looked so much like his sisters, the same eyes, same mouth, even their noses were the same. "I need it Jamie."

"I need _you_."

The little shit broke me. Just like the bottle smashing against the wall I shattered to the ground in a million pieces. I sobbed so hard my ribs hurt. I was only half aware of Jamie's arms around me. I let him hold me, somewhere in my mind I knew this was backwards I was the adult and he was the kid, I was supposed to be comforting Jamie. I couldn't change it though, I couldn't stop, my whole body hurt. "What do I do kid? Give my something to fight for cause right now I have nothing."

Jamie's arms loosed slightly as he's chest started to rise and fall rapidly. I felt Jamie's lips on my cheek then he was gone into the darkness.

"Jamie?" I called out but only got my voice echoed back at me. _Give my something to fight for cause right now I have nothing_. Shit…. I jumped up and almost fell flat on my face. _Sober up first_. I shook my head trying to clear it then I walked to the bathroom and dunked my head into the cold water of the rushing river. It filled my ears, mouth and nose and I thought of just staying there. Here were there was nothing to be heard or seen. The water started to flow harder, trying to pull my down current. _Just let go and it can take you, take you away to where Melanie is_. I threw my head out of the water and gasped for air. My lugs hurt from the water that I had swallowed. I coughed, trying to extinguish the water from my lungs. It hurt more then the whisky and worked to clear my head a hell of a lot better.

"Jamie?" I opened the door to the room we shared, the kid was not there. Why did it cause my chest to tighten up? I looked back into the hall and spied Ian O'shea, we weren't close but then again I wasn't close to anyone here except the kid. "Hey! Its Ian right?"

He turned, "Yeah?"

"You've seen Jamie? The kid I-"

Ian nodded, "I know who Jamie is. Last time I saw him he was with Jeb."

"Thanks." I ran passed him. "Jed's-"

"Kitchen."

"Thank you."

"Anytime." Ian called after me.

I ran to the kitchen as fast as I could -and as strait as I could, being half drunk. I skidded into the dinning area and almost slammed into the opposite wall.

"Nice of you to show up, Jared," Shannon said, who was sitting right next to Jeb. "but you're to late dinners ov-"

"Ian said Jamie was with you." I said to Jeb.

"Yeah, the kid was here for a second then he took off."

I growled and ran to the door.

"Jared!"

_Ouch, that wall wasn't that close_. I turned to Jeb.

"I think I might know where he is." Jeb jumped up and grabbed my by the arm. "You wanna take about it, kiddo?" Jeb still hadn't let my go as we walked down the tunnel.

"Talk about what?" I had to admit I was doing good for a guy who had just been as far drunk as you could get 10 minutes ago… I was almost walking in a strait line and I wasn't hiccupping anymore.

"Well… you are wasted and looking for Jamie, I feel as though that's cause for alarm."

I looked at him but couldn't focus on his face. Damn, maybe I'm not as sober as I thought.

"And you're crying."

I reached up and found out that he was right. "It has nothing to do with you Jeb so just leave us alone." I tried to rip my arm out of his grip but I couldn't make it move.

Jeb stopped walking and looked at me. "They're my family too kid."

I couldn't stop the words from coming out. "Then way weren't they here with you instead of slowly starving to death out there?"

Jeb looked at me -thoughtful. "I don't know." He pointed to the opening of a cave. "It's my best bet that your kids in there."

I was about to turn on my flashlight by Jeb grabbed my arm. "There's light already in there."

I walked in slowly, unsteady on my feet. Jeb was right there were lights inside the cave… stars to be exact, little blue stars all around me. I almost didn't see Jamie; it took me two looks before I spotted him. He was sitting on the ground, legs curled up to his chest. I threw myself down a little harder then I was going for and slammed right into him, making him jump -so much for talking to him being sober.

"Sorry." I muttered.

He shrugged, "s'okay."

"These aren't stars are they?" I asked.

Jamie clapped his hands together and the stars went out. We both sat in silence, in the dark. Then one by one the stars turned back on.

"They're Glowworms." Jamie whispered, "They scar at the slightest sound, when they're scared they go out to hide."

I stared at him; his completion was an odd blue in the glow. "How do you know that?" I said trying to match his whispering voice but it didn't work and the worms went out. "Sorry."

"Uncle Jeb told me." He said.

"Ah…"

I watched the worms turn back on and Jamie and I stayed silent. It was such amazing place. It was the size of the dinning room and twice as tall.

"Does it help?" Jamie asked.

"Does what help?" I asked still mesmerized by the little glowing worms.

I could feel his eyes on me as he said, "the alcohol."

I thought of that question for a long moment. Does it help? I thought of the pain I was trying to drowned with the alcohol, did it drown it? "No." I wasn't aware that I had said it out loud until Jamie rested his head on my shoulders.

"I love you, Jared." His words weren't above a breathe.

I kissed his forehead and wrapped a clumsily arm around him. "I love you too kid."

"Do you?"

I stared at him. He looked like his sister. "What do you mean?"

"Do you love me enough to stop?"

I just stared so he continued.

"I need you, I can't be alone here. And right know… you're not here with me."

He wasn't crying, wasn't begging, he was giving me cold hard facts. I was about to tell him that I was right here… but was I?

"If it doesn't help…" Jamie started but then he stopped. "Look, if it helps then fine I can take care of myself-"

"No you can't Jamie." I shook my head.

"Fine, Uncle Jeb'll-"

I shook my head, "Na kid, you're mine to take care of." I wrapped my arms around him. _Mel left you in my care. _I added in my head, _and I'm not going to let her down_. "And I should have been. I'm so sorry Jamie." 

"It's okay." He said, hugging me back. "So…" He pulled away, "no more drinking?"

I nodded, my head felt a little clearer it felt good, my head hadn't been clear in over a month. "I promise kid, no more."


End file.
